Someone in a "dating funk" once asked me dating advice about choosing better. I asked one question:
"What do you require?"
They said "nothing".
We both laughed and I replied "OK, there's the real problem"
At the time, I didn't even realize what a loaded question I was asking. Before answering "what do you require", I think you have to know where does your requirements stem from? What does that LOOK like? Who are those examples?
My mom told me a (long winded) story about her eventful morning. My sister woke up late and needed a ride to the train. My mom, being a mom, dropped my sister off, with just her hairnet and house slippers and without her phone, wallet, house keys, etc. She drops my sister off in time but on her way back, her car (Benz) starts jerking because she needs gas. After making it to the gas station by the skin of her teeth, she remembers she has no money or phone on her. What does she do you ask? She used the gas station man's phone to call my dad.
My dad shows up looking equally nuts in PJs and dress shoes (first shoes he could find?) in a BMW to save the day...Only to realize he, too, didn't have cash. So, at this point, I'm picturing both of them with mad morning face, dressed nuts, in their luxury cars with no cash, at 5 am. I LOL'ed. After finding an ATM, he tells my mom to stay in the car, and he'll pump her gas. It's freezing. He's freezing. But he pumps her gas. Now her tire is low. Face palm. He tells her pull around and he'll do the tire next. His hands are ice at this point so he can barely unscrew the cap. After basically wasting the air, he said that he has a device at home and he'll do it there. They go home and he thaws his hands on the stove for a few minutes and goes back outside to put air in my mom's tire. My mom is watching from the window and sees him struggling so she goes outside to try to help but he doesn't let her and insists she goes back inside. She told me she went back upstairs and cried out of appreciation and prayed that God gives my sisters and I men who wouldn't think twice about doing the same for us.
My parents show me what effort and reciprocity in a partnership looks like, so my requirements stem from their example.